Posts

Truth

My father is now saying to my little sister that if you want to be a doctor, you can only sleep 2 hours a day. He doesn't care about the truth being sacred. He will lie to himself, to others, to anyone.  He has not seen the truth as sacred for as long as I can remember. He didn't hold it sacred when I was a child. Lying for any reason at all, unless he felt that there might be some consequences for it. He lied when he cheated on my mother for years. He lied when I caught him cheating on my mother. He lied when he called the police on me on false charges. He lied for silly things as well. He lied whenever he should have admitted to not knowing things. For insecurity, for ego, for convenience, for dominance, for power, for ease, for greed, for selfishness, for selflessness, for pain, for pleasure. He lied every day and still does.  I know I can become like him easily. I know I have been like him, for many years, from when I was a child to a teenager. And that I can do it again....
Post a Comment
Read more

GPT5 is the most underhyped and impressive model I've seen

 Every single person I hear talking about GPT5 talks about how it was a 'flop' or 'overhyped'. How it wasn't world changing, how it didnt meet expectations, how it's not impressive, etc.  However, before it came out, I had cancelled my OpenAI subscription, I renewed it for trying GPT5 and now I don't think I'll be cancelling it anytime soon. I had used o3, o4-mini and gpt 4.5 Before gpt5, gpt 4.5 was the most impressive model for me, in terms of actually being something close to semi decent writer and actually having some useful information.  By and large, the vast majority of models have been absolutely trash at research for me, for anything expect for very general or basic stuff in fields. Anything that required actual reasoning ability - the ability to actually put things together and form new ideas from them, they would just fail at.  e.g. taking ideas from neuromorality and reinforcement learning and using that to put together a new reinforcement le...
Post a Comment
Read more

a comment on a youtube video

This video is about 'the banality of internet evil'  ArtChad talks about how Hailey Welch's crypto scam was just expected and boring, that she wasn't exceptionally evil for doing so, this is the internet enabling a boring banal evil that is possible for normal people to do.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APNCB0m5ex0&list=TLPQMDQwODIwMjWfoRvqEBEnPA&index=2 However, it is far, far too repetitive. I'm 10 minutes in and the same 4 points have been repeated over and over again. And it's generally focused on pushing an opinion, rather an actual dissection.  Edit: 13:00 in - this is actually pretty interesting.  However, I think not going into the lack of legal enforcement of scams in general now is a mistake.  14:30  Also, the romanticization of the past, as if cultures without/with less internet didnt have (and still have): beggar scam rings, ponzi schemes, snake oil salesmen (both literal and metaphorical), religious scams/abuse, general corrupt...
Post a Comment
Read more

old (My Anger at the blades of Moloch) new (my hope and trepidation for the future)

in february i'd written this:  We aren't doing enough. We are not on track. We have too many people scared of petty things, trying to cover their own asses. We have benchmarks to measure capability progress and know we're less than 5 years from an AI that will mean the end of all human power on Earth, forever. And we still have less than $1 trillion invested in solutions to make sure the AI will have values we actually share. Or even that we'll have any real say over those values at all.  The two most powerful men in the world right now (Altman and Musk, sorry rest of humanity) are grabbing power in ways few understand. One full on in building the lightcone seizer, the other seriously trying to take over the world in a way we haven't seen for a few decades. While, of course, using the words of 'safety' in AI in a way that has nothing to do with the actual meaning. Two grand deception machines, willing to do anything for control of the lightcone, even putting...
Post a Comment
Read more

we should surpass ai

 i'm thinkng about this fo r sos so long     ages and anges and ages  thousands of times i've thoughaat about the perrrrfect wayyy to write this.  a religion a song a research stufy haha,nt that one really a hackathon - thats real - and might actually be   WE SHOULD SURPASS AI - FUCK AI - FUCK HUMAN DISEMPOWERMENT - I WANT ACTUAL HUMAN EMPOWERMENT, NOT TOOL EMPOWERMENT 
Post a Comment
Read more

i'm a fraud

 ok. so, i've been trying hard, or what feels like in some ways to be trying hard, to finish the micrograd tutorial for several months now.  yup, that super basic ass tutorial.  it's less than 3 hours long.  i should be able to do it.  i know i can.  but somehow, its so much easier to get other people to do things.  when i was a teenager, i wanted to be a physicist. i browsed hyperphysics a lot, i assumed i would be a theoretical physicist when i was older, along with some kind of businessman and maybe some martial arts.  i'm now poor, living in my parents attic, with my main 'expertise' being in recruiting people, some marketing and yapping. and i've failed to finish a less than 3 hour tutorial for a basic ass thing.  it's so fucking boring though. jesus christ.  why have i failed to do one boring thing though?  want to succeed at more boring things.  i wonder if I can make this be a timer/game? see how long i can actually do/...
Post a Comment
Read more

choice. insecurity

I'm feeling depressed. Or fearful. I'm insecure. I'm worried that none of the choices I make will be correct. I'm worried that I keep on wasting time. I'm worried that I'm wasting everyone else's time. I'm worried that I'm wasting my mothers life. That I'm being a disappointment of an older brother. I'm worried that I'm disappointing my dreams. I'm worried that I'm wasting my team's time. I'm scared that I'm not actually working to make a bright future.  I know when I'm wasting time. I keep doing it. I'm so self obsessed. I don't pay enough attention to the hopes I have.  I don't respect my time enough. I don't respect myself enough. I don't trust myself enough. I've lost some of the faith I had in myself. I get it back. It's fleeting. THAT WASN'T FAITH. That was hope. I've been chasing ideas. I've not been making money. I should make some money. Real money.  I want to be les...
Post a Comment
Read more